Navigating life can be hard sometimes. There is always ups and downs, twists and turns, and paths that you’re confronted with that cause confusion, fear or even excitement.
Now add in trauma...this could have happened yesterday or 20 years ago. The weight that trauma places on your brain and your body has a way of staying with you. Sometimes those triggers hit you and you don’t even realize it. It can even be something you have no personal connection too...but it triggers the fight, flight or freeze response in your brain.
Add in the scary emotions that sweep over you like waves and out of nowhere you feel like you’re drowning with no help in sight. You may not recognize what’s happening and begin to sabotage what good is in your life.
We tend to reach for the known because the unknown is scary. Unfortunately with trauma, the unknown tends to be lack of safety, fear of abandonment, fear of not being loved...
While rationally you may be thinking..”why would I choose abandonment or to not be loved?”
It’s what we know, so we recreate it for ourselves over and over again by shying away from what’s good without even realizing it. Because it’s what we know, what we can count on...
Feeling that loss of control and the intense feeling of the unknown can make you feel like everything is falling apart and has no solution. Maybe it doesn’t? But what you do have is control over your own body when you take it back.
That fear and chaos in your head doesn’t have to control you. That suffocating weight in your chest or stomach can be released with understanding of why you’re feeling the way that you are. Our bodies have incredibly painful ways of telling us to slow down and that in this moment we’re not okay. But let it be just a moment.
We each individually are responsible for our own emotions. Our own pain. Our own experiences. Subconsciously, we tend to project onto others. We want a reason for this pain and something obviously has to be wrong because of something someone else has done to you. However, regardless of what is going on around you...you alone are responsible for your reaction to the situation.
By recognizing your trauma and your triggers, you can ride through those waves without the world crashing in around you at the same time. Whether you find that peace and regulation through nature, through horses, or just through slowing yourself down enough to truly ask yourself, “why do I need this pain right now and how can I work through this feeling?”...you can save yourself from the all consuming nature of the beast.
Learning to recognize your need for the known, will provide you the opportunity to accept a new journey for your life full of opportunities, love, excitement, success and so much more. That trauma will always be with you...but let it help you grow instead of holding you back under the waves.
You’re not alone, unless you choose to be. You are whole and perfect as you are. You are good enough.